


What If

by huniths-muse (sopaltenbass)



Series: Heirs of Albion [7]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, merthurweek2020, secondary tokophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28321332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopaltenbass/pseuds/huniths-muse
Summary: Merlin is very pregnant with his and Arthur's second child. He's scared about what is to come. He's done this before. He should know what to expect, but everything is different this time.Written for MerthurWeek2020 Day 5: “Any other lies left to tell me?” + Angst
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Heirs of Albion [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838926
Comments: 2
Kudos: 103





	What If

**Author's Note:**

> Secondary tokophobia - a fear of giving birth following a traumatic birth.

Something wasn't right. Merlin was far too quiet. He'd barely said a word all through supper. He'd even been more reserved than usual when saying goodnight to Benjy and tucking him in. Now he was sitting up in bed, staring straight ahead with his eyes out of focus, massaging his stomach.

Arthur sat beside him, nudging his shoulder. "What are you thinking?"

Merlin flinched, startled out of his swirling thoughts. "Hm?"

"You've barely said a word all evening. Just wondering what's going on in that head of yours." Arthur pulled Merlin to him so that he was lying back against Arthur's chest. He placed his hands on either side of Merlin's, rubbing small circles on his belly. The child within rewarded him with a kick. Merlin heaved a sigh, desperately trying not to cry, but it was a battle he knew he would lose all too soon. Still, he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. How could he put into words the jumbled mess of his emotions?

Arthur felt it when Merlin dissolved into great, shuddering gasps, tears streaming down his cheeks though no sound came out.

"Oh, Merlin," he said, his own voice laden with sorrow and concern. "It's all right. I'm here. I've got you. It's going to be all right."

"Is it, though?" Merlin sobbed, the words sounding as though they had been ripped from his throat.

Arthur's heart broke for the man in his arms. He held him tighter, wanting him to feel safe, wishing he just knew what was wrong so he could try to fix it.

"Oh, my love," he said quietly into the top of Merlin's head where he nuzzled his cheek into Merlin's hair. "Can you try to tell me what's troubling you?"

Merlin took another shaky breath. "I'm scared, Arthur," he whispered.

"Of what?" Merlin gulped but didn't answer. "Merlin, please, if I don't know, I can't help fix it." Arthur felt the child turn over in Merlin's belly, producing another shuddering sob from Merlin. A thought occurred to Arthur. "Is it the child?"

"It's so big, Arthur, bigger than Benjy ever was when I carried him, and Mother says it's turned head down."

"That's good though, isn't it? Safer? And it's good that the baby's bigger. It's a sign that it's healthy and strong."

"I had such a hard time with Benjy though, and with this one being bigger… Arthur, what if, what if I can't get it out?"

"You're stronger than you were for Benjy. Both physically and magically. I'm sure you'll be just fine. And I'll be with you this time. That will help, won't it?"

Merlin gulped again, but nodded. His tears were slowing now. Arthur held him, rocking the two of them slowly back and forth, murmuring words of encouragement and affection.

Gradually, Merlin calmed down. Arthur readied them for sleep, and tucked Merlin in snug under the covers. They lay on their sides, Arthur holding him close.

"I won't deny, seeing you like this, big with our child, makes me love you even more. You're so beautiful, Merlin." Arthur tucked a lock of hair back behind Merlin's ear.

"Ha!"Merlin chuckled. "That's a good one. Any other lies left to tell me?"

"No, I mean it. You're lovely."

"I think you need your eyes checked, Arthur. I'm enormous."

"I suppose I'll just have to keep telling you so, until you believe me," Arthur said, placing a kiss on Merlin's forehead. "Love you."

"Love you too," Merlin said breathily.

George came in to find the two of them sound asleep in each other's arms a little while later. He extinguished the candle and pulled the hangings shut around the bed.

"Sleep well, my lords."


End file.
